Fridge Worthy

McDonald's "definitely" makes me want to "fall down."

2010-09-04T10:25:00.000-05:00

what if you did something right?

2009-09-08T23:30:00.001-05:00

Dan Flatley's circus has multiple mustaches, many are polished daily

2009-09-04T17:19:00.000-05:00

Gaze in astonishment for the hourly party for clowns. (Clowns will not be performing.)

a thumb slightly askew

2009-09-03T20:18:00.000-05:00

and why not

whispers

2009-08-14T17:38:00.001-05:00

try to hang on

2009-08-12T19:09:00.000-05:00

Unhinged meet hinged!

2009-08-08T08:35:00.001-05:00

turning lemonade into lemons

2009-08-07T08:18:00.001-05:00

Spider-Not for children!

2009-08-06T22:30:00.000-05:00

I was speaking electronically

2009-07-27T20:25:00.000-05:00

technical sunrise

2009-07-07T19:18:00.000-05:00

we all know who will laugh last

optimist prime

2009-06-07T20:59:00.001-05:00

Just put plenty of elbow sauce on it!

2009-06-05T17:28:00.001-05:00

"bat milk?"

2009-06-05T17:05:00.000-05:00

virtual calzone

2009-05-27T23:36:00.000-05:00

over morning spaghetti

2009-05-27T21:38:00.000-05:00

can you use it in a sentence?

this has nothing to do with that

2009-05-23T23:53:00.002-05:00

please apologize to god and brandon for me

2009-05-23T19:42:00.000-05:00

"You mean moo-pig oink-fuck?" Exactly.

2009-05-18T22:26:00.001-05:00

royal glitch

2009-05-18T22:11:00.000-05:00

in the first place

2009-05-14T23:58:00.000-05:00

cut-up and the cutups

2009-05-13T22:18:00.001-05:00

all my stuff's on location

papa don't preach my teeth are bleeding nutmeg

2009-05-13T00:19:00.000-05:00

a company of violence in your parting shot

they were all waving backwards

and now i'm looking inward

and just as the popcorn pops

the last colonel got hit promotion

there's blood on his hands

and i know you're an honest man

but come clean

in a sea of disdain

and an equilibrium that does nothing but throw you off

money hand over fist

hands over your mouth first

i know you're calling the shots

but words are cheaper than bullets

the clip of my shoes

2009-05-11T21:58:00.001-05:00

don't be too grateful

brick through the window of a brick house

2009-05-10T23:24:00.000-05:00

My toes turn to tar whenever they touch water

2009-05-08T20:49:00.000-05:00

The last Marmaduke ever

2009-04-23T16:47:00.000-05:00

living with poets, re: coping

2009-04-20T18:41:00.000-05:00

-this is what happens when someone asks me to make them a flyer

2009-04-18T20:14:00.001-05:00

I'm just baking up a big stomache, aren't I?

2009-04-17T21:12:00.000-05:00

never got to talk too much

2009-04-15T19:35:00.000-05:00

Occupational obligational salute

2009-04-13T19:17:00.000-05:00

mindsmoke

2009-04-12T21:57:00.000-05:00

Okay, so the other day I woke up and the first thought of the day was "What if there was a high school that had a horse-themed prom?" Best I can tell, it'd be a regular prom. But the girls wear dresses made from horse hair, and the guys wear tuxes made from horse hair. Oh, and they give the ladies horseages and they slow dance in a gymnasium decorated with giant, hollowed out horse heads. It'd be romantic and beautiful.

Nothing makes me feel more patriotic than The Chipmunks singing "America The Beautiful"

2009-04-12T21:46:00.003-05:00

America, America, the shit has hit the fan.

i did it for chairity

2009-04-11T23:34:00.001-05:00

SUMMERTIME YES

2009-04-09T22:42:00.001-05:00

momenze

2009-04-08T21:48:00.000-05:00

remembering now suddenly

2009-04-06T20:42:00.000-05:00

will overcome?

2009-04-06T20:29:00.000-05:00

I wrote my boy Santa a big long letter / I was good this year, coulda been better

2009-04-05T17:55:00.002-05:00

Cancel the postpone

2009-04-02T19:42:00.000-05:00

Hijacked

I still think it's a good idea

2009-04-02T19:07:00.000-05:00

Have you ever had soup with a fork? Can't find one in this damn dump.

2009-04-02T18:56:00.000-05:00

let the air out of my brakes

2009-03-30T20:52:00.002-05:00

the moon shines in the autumn sun, a reflection of a summer's past adding a spring to my step

squinting at a glint in my eye, winking knowingly to myself

who the hell let you in here?

Trenjoying

2009-03-29T18:37:00.002-05:00

fantrastic

2009-03-29T18:35:00.001-05:00

in the underworld in my underwear

2009-03-28T14:37:00.001-05:00

Taike 2 N Shgut Up!

2009-03-28T01:51:00.000-05:00

el producto

2009-03-23T20:11:00.000-05:00

you did this to yourself

(#800) one-man show for a one-man audience

2009-03-19T19:40:00.000-05:00

Yes, two-hundred more until we reach one-thousand, world. But until then, let's just call this #800.

these lightbulbs are making the room darker

2009-03-12T22:17:00.000-05:00

Perfect for the houseboat office

2009-03-12T22:08:00.001-05:00

watch out

2009-03-09T21:10:00.002-05:00

Has anyone seen the nighttime manager?

2009-03-05T23:37:00.000-06:00

caged clouds

2009-03-04T01:02:00.000-06:00

this homeskillet is all well and good for home, but what about my office?

pharoah long-slice

2009-03-02T22:34:00.002-06:00

nothing new to say!

2009-03-01T16:40:00.001-06:00

P.S. I'm writing this letter with my toes

2009-02-24T22:25:00.000-06:00

choclit, sex, and your prostate

2009-02-24T02:17:00.000-06:00

get in your hidey hole and CHILLAX

2009-02-22T19:34:00.000-06:00

so good to be out

g-dammit, i'm dropping f-darns over here!

2009-02-20T18:48:00.002-06:00

rejected ideas

2009-02-19T00:14:00.001-06:00

"I smoke pot with Pol Pot (out of a skull-shaped bong)"
"Hitler was history's first hipster (I liked Arcade Fire before anyone ever heard of them. Yes I called it Krstyalnacht, but so what?"
Another day another bellyache
(cue Zamboni)

"i'm going to smoke these drawings like potato salad"

2009-02-17T22:29:00.000-06:00

here's a bald eagle being raped by a peace sign

2009-02-17T22:13:00.001-06:00

Mother Russia this is good chili!

Salame = the temperature at which meat freezes

2009-02-16T23:19:00.001-06:00

Nobody cares a sword anymore after 9/11

2009-02-14T08:50:00.001-06:00

i think it's safe to say we all overestimated our importance

2009-02-13T21:43:00.000-06:00

wearing the devil's wardrobe

the grass is always greedier

2009-02-12T23:04:00.002-06:00

my dinner with andre 3000

2009-02-12T19:26:00.000-06:00

i saw three kids on the street armed with live pythons
should i keep on?
i donno, did you hear me stutterin?
from the Vermont street corner to the ellipses marked nutrition center
I donno, which one dent'ya?

stroke my silohuette, bab-ee

2009-02-11T22:56:00.000-06:00

Putting my money where my mouth is and then eating it because it's delicious

2009-02-11T22:36:00.000-06:00

Constant didj

2009-02-10T19:21:00.000-06:00

graveyard jams or cemetary preserves?

2009-02-09T23:22:00.000-06:00

Either way, I'm pretty sure I just ate some haunted bread

he was pro-corpse-rights in a downright recession

2009-02-08T20:08:00.000-06:00

back and to the left
inside baseball

Make the Lukeway commitment to flavor!

2009-02-06T21:22:00.001-06:00

Here's what you get you when invest in the Lukeway(TM) commitment to flavor:
1. A really good friend for life.
2. I will personally be that really good friend for life.
3. The ability OR OPTION to have an ice-cream sandwich whenever you see fit.
3.b. Nobody will judge your decision on when to have an ice-cream sandwich. Lukeway respects your ability to be an adult and choose things like the timing of placing brown chocolate-like bread sandwiches into your gaping maw.
4. The alternative to trade in all your spare change for a brand-new sweater fresh from the dryer. When it's no longer warm, you can just throw it away! The options are mind-boggling!
5. Have a real-life koala bear live with you. He won't pay rent, but he sure is cute. Aww.
6. You suddenly will have an opinion on R&B music and all other genres you never even considered as important or of interest. YES THIS INCLUDES REGGAE, YOU SAVVY DINGLEBERRY.
7. Crinkly bacon broken over your eyes while you sleep. Some believe this unlocks your special "waking" powers for when you wake up. Also, in all your dreams, you'll be a millionaire.
8. Singing in the rain will actually make umbrellas appear in both your hands. Why sing in the rain when you can sing indoors, by your radio?
9. An instant high-five whenever you want it. See that previous one about being an adult. Reward yourself when you know you want it. Not when the government fat-cats think you're ready. Laissez-faire on the flip side OR down low! YOU decide.

last night i dreamed my teeth were too big for my mouth and they hurt

2009-02-05T21:56:00.000-06:00

how did i ever pass the time before i

how do you feel about an environmentally safe hair-do?

2009-02-05T19:00:00.000-06:00

change is easy
but keeping things the same is hard

Nyquil season's almost over, but Dayquil season's coming up next

2009-02-04T23:06:00.000-06:00

absent stars and present trees

Looking in through the other side of the medicine

2009-02-03T20:56:00.001-06:00

some things don't last
others just pass
still some are only that
a moment of reflection in an echo cave
does it really make a difference
and how would you know anyway
riding on your horse and pony
making a big show out of the end
you think it's over, but it's only begun
there's no frame of reference and time never passes
it just leaves you in the dark

paratrooper party pooper

2009-02-02T23:51:00.000-06:00

diggin' a deeper a hole and digging it more than you thought was possible

it's a good way to start the day

part of this balanced breakfast

Let freedom ring tone

2009-02-02T19:05:00.000-06:00

It might be forever until I know and until then

there are hands for sale in a box near the museum door

2009-02-01T17:05:00.000-06:00

and i can't seem to put a finger on why it bothers me

keeping everything an extra 20% further away

2009-02-01T10:46:00.001-06:00

looking after yourself

spongebath on the warpath

2009-01-27T22:27:00.001-06:00

path of least resistance is too hard

2009-01-27T19:19:00.001-06:00

what more do you want?

can i help that caviar tastes so good with top ramen?

2009-01-26T22:35:00.000-06:00

it's really loud

nothing left to sey

2009-01-25T20:58:00.002-06:00

and i got honorary 3rd degree burns
so flattered
i think the old trixcks are now new owners

civic emperor

2009-01-25T15:08:00.001-06:00

camp lazy and the equestrian challenge

2009-01-25T14:16:00.004-06:00

outer space in an inner tube?

what is the situation .

2008-11-15T11:48:00.003-06:00

When I was a child there were some things I could never wrap my mind around
Now I've gotten older and instead the things never wrap around my mind
Now I just forget what the lesson's supposed to be
There are people who wish you harm
But they're just dust in a new vacuum cleaner in the rear-view mirror
You forget to pretend to matter so it doesn't
And off in the distance a falcon cries
It's watching a lame rom-rom-com that's heavy on the tragicomedy
Heavy on the gravy
In the lampshade at a good party
Thanks for the invitation
Thanks for the imitation
Thanks for the flattery
Thanks for all the nothing

How do you find a

2008-10-26T21:05:00.000-05:00

needle in a haystack?

You burn the stack down.

skeleton dog keeps barking at me

2008-08-23T10:06:00.001-05:00

somehow like a trickle of water everyone has played a trick on me but i just drip along the road as if it were nothing at all and they say no one can see you cry in the rain but i don't know how true that is does that mean no one can see you shake in an earthquake?

people often overlook the gift that is free poison

2008-07-14T21:41:00.001-05:00

the truth is a broken record

2008-07-13T18:17:00.001-05:00

the batteries starting taking acid and made it rain
and rubbed it in my eyes and my face
well i turned the clock off and got out of the zone
i went home
or someplace very much like it

that horse magician is a one-trick phony

2008-07-13T09:45:00.001-05:00

reach for the stars and shut the fuck up

2008-07-11T20:14:00.001-05:00

the reports of my life were greatly exaggerated
i'd like to tell you what to do but i'd rather take this fresh chance to eat some dirt
with the salt of the earth
everyone's a critic

stop hanging chandeliers off your kneecaps

2008-05-25T09:50:00.000-05:00

another week another weak

2008-05-17T08:14:00.000-05:00

"Lahser 2008 Water Wars Revised Rules"

Revised Rules: There are a new set of rules for all rounds to follow. Nothing has changed whatsoever from round 1 but since there were so many problems and misunderstandings with the previous rules we decided to shorten them into broader terms.

- These rules are for your physical and legal protection and to ensure that Water Wars remains possible in years to come. Please see them in that light.

Teams and Equipment:

· Players may use: hand-pumped water funs, garden hoses, kitchen hoses, household faucets, water balloons, buckets of water and pools

· Players may not use (including but not limited to): fire hydrants, fire hoses (the kind that fire men use) high-pressure water guns (compressed air or CO2 powered), or anything that is not drinkable.

· Wetting someone also means that you have to do the wetting.

· If someone claims they have wetted you and they want to check then the game can stop on the spot and that person may check you to see if you are wet; if there is any disputing over things call us IMMEDIATELY and we will sort things out. If you do the wetting, it is YOUR responsibility to check the person for wetness, don’t get mad if we don’t rule in your favor because you never checked the person!

Conduct:

You are liable for your conduct and any crimes or damages that may be committed by you during Water Wars.
Concerning any type of trouble with authority that you get in involving Water Wars, all wetting of players does NOT count until that trouble blows over.
Destruction of property is NOT tolerated, ever. If the owner of the property gets pissed off and feels you have ruined their lawn, belongings, etc. then you will be disqualified.(please don’t use this rule freely just so you can easily get someone out)
There is absolutely no kidnapping of anyone.
If YOUR parents call the cops on someone in Water Wars YOU are kicked out of Water Wars for the remainder of that round because someone could seriously get in trouble. HOWEVER, this only means calling the cops to bail the kids out of Water Wars, if the parent has a legitimate reason to call the cops, you will face the consequences. This includes blocking someone in the driveway when their parent has to go to work or go anywhere else, destroying property or things of that sort.
Please try and have the parents stay out of this, it is only a game.

Property:

All school properties are off limits for Water Wars activities at all times. OCC, OU, Model, I.A. and Alternative are also off limits. You may not fire on to or off of these properties at ANY time. Church, temple, etc. is also always off limits. Everyone has to go to school, and there could be serious repercussions from messing with the facilities on the weekends.
ANY SCHOOL SPONSERED ACTIVITIES ARE OFF LIMITS
All government owned properties are off limits for Water Wars activities at all times. This includes but is not limited to: the libraries, the office of the Township by Andover, any police and fire stations, the 48^th District Court, JAMS drug testing facilities, etc…
Entering residences is illegal and off-limits unless invited by a legal member of the household. Garages and carports are considered part of the residence even if they are not attached. You may shoot out of any garage but you may not fire into it.
If blocking out a driveway in the morning (on school days) you must leave your position by 7:15 AM and 7:55 AM on late start days; people should not be late to school!
Personal vehicles may only be entered if they have an unlocked door (once again, don’t break in). Convertibles, Jeeps with zip tops and similar things DO NOT count as unlocked doors. If riding by motorcycle you are fair game to be shot.
Respect the rights of the property owner. If somebody (i.e. a parent) asks you to get off their property, do so. Talking back and fighting results in player fines and/or disqualifications.
If you decide to block a player in the driveway and parent(s) must get out, let them out, then you may return to your position.
One must have their ENTIRE body inside to count as being indoors
SPORTS: you may not be shot at any schools regarding a team sport whether it is home or away. Not only school sports but also including club sports such as travel soccer, tennis, etc.

Work:

You cannot be shot at your work DURING and ONLY DURING WORK HOURS. Since you cannot be shot, you also cannot shoot during this time. But you can shoot if your at work and your opponent comes in.
A place of employment includes both the building and property of that place of employment. If employment requires travel off the premises, the employee must show their exempt status by some other means such as a uniform. Babysitting at someone’s house counts as a place of employment as well as businesses.
If you are in the parking lot of work, you are fair game, but ONLY leaving work. If you leave during your lunch break, you are also considered fair game. (You can get shot driving to work but not walking from your car to the building in the parking lot.)
If going to your car, during work hours to retrieve something, you are still on duty and in a “safe zone” but you must make this known to the opposing team. (If caught lying about this you will be disqualified.)

Matches:

Tags can only be made by people on the participating teams.
Matches will last from 12:00 AM on that Monday until the following Friday at Midnight. You may “post up” at someone’s house on that Monday morning but, once again, you must be off their premises by 7:15 AM. The time between rounds is used for pairing teams and relaxation (use it wisely)
Teams may no block off driveways (on school nights) after midnight. You may “post up” at someone’s house but you cannot block off the driveway after midnight due to safety reasons.
The organizer must be notified of all tags by phone (no text messages please!) for all purposes the time the organizer is notified shall be counted as the time of the tag.
For someone to be “tagged” they must have a thoroughly wet patch on their clothing or body. Please soak as best possible. Two drops of water will NOT be enough so make sure to soak well!
When someone is tagged, it is the obligation of their tagger to notify the organize. The organizer must be given the name of the persons both tagging and tagged, the date/time and the place. The organizer will then confirm said details with the tagged person.
If tagging is disputed, first attempt to resolve it between the teams. If an agreement cannot be reached the teams must approach the organizer to judge. Concrete evidence (ex: a picture right on a camera/camera phone) will be looked upon favorably.
If I and many other people feel that your Water Wars tactics are TOTALLY out of line, I reserve the right to say “Screw you Tyrone, your not longer in this game.”
In the event of a tie, tiebreakers will be held on that following Saturday (the end of the round) at least two members must attend from each team. If two can’t make it to the meeting, the opposing team will advance to the next round.
Tiebreakers: This can be anything as long as both teams agree and it is Okayed by either Carlo or Courtney. One of us must be there at the time of the showdown as do at least two of each team’s members.

EVERYONE MUST UNDERSTAND THERE IS ABSOLUTLY NO “PAUSING” THE GAME WHENEVER YOU PLEASE.

The only time the game may be paused is when you stop to check if someone is wet and this must be known to both teams.

Reward:

This year we have 28 teams, $80 per team.
First place winners will receive $1,120
Second place winners will receive $560

Courtney- 840-9483

Carlo- 821-8198

Website: carlolorenzetti.com/waterwars

Whatever decisions you make to take part in Water Was, YOU must live with the consequences;

Other than that, BE SAFE & HAVE FUN

so i will do the work and show my problems

2008-05-04T09:12:00.001-05:00

but so long as we're clear there are no problems
nothing that can be solved
without a firm handshake and a healthy shiny coat
and a ha ha ha
all up and down the dirty dusty trails
it never ever fails
so keep pace or lag behind

Puppet says you can borrow it (#750)

2008-05-03T08:26:00.002-05:00