countdown to the end

Cutting through a potato chain-link fence
You think you know about someone just 'cuz you read their diary
Well quite contrary
Laughing Mary
A goddamned statue out of orbit
And a can of orange juice
Drowning the tuna in the ocean
But it's too late to react
B'e'c'a'u's'e'
You forgot to schedule accordingly

You made a deal with yourself so it's time to cash in

So sopping through the trough and cutting up the chicken fat
You've gone too far just because you read the maps
But you were naked to the gills
And already wasting away
Cooking up a chicken fat sardine dinner
Off the VCR
And you can rewind and watch all your favorite moments
But somewhere in an alley lays a dying little kitty cat
You ever heard of an alley?
The bees told me all about the birds
Bright one early summer morning
Unable to contain what it called emotion
Thoroughly confusing and satisfyingly frustrated

My interests include hobbies and collections

I know the reasons why they talk to me
occupying time
always seems like a great idea to me

28 centuries of that guy

lullabies for disappointing children

except when we wait

opportunistic accidents that's all

something new to say

BEEP BEP I AM HAT ROBOT

a summer invitational to all who think they can take my place

But before I get ahead of myself I have to find the bottom of my feet. They're usually down there, and this is no exception. Still, help me look. These things don't find themselves, and it's for that very reason that I must do that dance. If werewolves taught me manners, surely you'd think they'd teach me how to make my bed. But no, they were never around in the morning. You know, since some people are raised by wolves. Well, these are werewolves. My momma dug a hole in the snow and when I awoke, Crispy the tall werewolf told me to consider him my best friend or he'd chew my demons away. Well, I don't care much for my demons. They don't invite me out to dinner afterwards, plus they sure as heck don't leave a tip.




Brother, I am alive. Are you?

If there’s smooth and chunky peanut butter, why isn’t there chunky jazz?

Right. & What do you do with your free time?

Anyone speak horse code?

Well, well, well:
http://www.medpagetoday.com/Columns/8138
Looks like my old boy Dracula's in the news again. Is it a complete coincidence that when there's nothing interesting going on in the world, Dracula pops up in our national headlines? Or maybe, and more correctly, D-man lets the world's events grow more and more boring, then he chooses to leap into the spotlight, and dance to our national content. That's what I'd like to believe. Especially since he won't ever return my phone calls.

I just assume he's out baking cookies or doing other things that make my heart sing. But here's betting that Cafe Dracula didn't have no Dracula patties when l'il Drac was a scant four years old!

My lumps my lumps my lovely lady lumps is a PSA about getting mammograms

I'm about to show you why they call me Doublehat Tuesdays

Right after some Nintendo Wii Soccer!

& they built a cathedral just for me

and nobody came to seesaw
see saw seesaw seesaw

jealous tummy ache in the shoe heel horned at a mistake

turnstile/turn style said it's easier to swallow broken glass than to eat for a living
and
you can't go turning diamonds into something valuable in this town
it'll churn out another factory
for the adoring faces
but
you can go around selling you wares to the clouds in the sky
and breathe in the night sky as technicolor cars sweep along a fantasy of something forgotten
what was it
you've forgotten
the fact that all you can see is scratching of a neck
is a shock to the system
an embrace to the distance
dancing taciturn/toss a turn around the many rings
under your eyes
or in a tree trunk
so concerned to concern yourself
while it is most certainly that
to share and share alike
but don't dare
take the edge off
edge off
the quiet kept is to prevent being thought of as dumb
or lack of anything of interest
to appreciate
welcome to the welcome sign
so come in
dust it off but I'm still on a shelf
taking the map's relief and crushing it flat
on a spiral escalator
to no where
mixing signals and metaphors and drinks
at least, that's what I think I'm doing
ok to be done now

great poupon (follow that ghost)

charmed life

all by itself

If there's strength in numbers
There's weakness in letters
But something always shoots me back out
At square number one

stones for two purposes

Here I am folding the folds of my skin
When it occurred to me
My actions don't reflect the water
I'm currently
Sinking in

Last night I dreamt I was interviewing Hunter S. Thompso, but he hung up on me in disgust because I was being tickled nonstop

I got the new DAXAAR album! I'll tell you all about it later

putting my bomb to bed

It's your fat baby, you better feed it

temporarily tattooed : "i'm sorry forever"

I know why the caged bird locks me out

cowboys with pizza cutters on the back of their boots walking with their noses in the air

double deadbeat deadpan daddy

and my turn was next next next
it's no wonder

I NEVER SAID THAT

On 2nd thoughts

dddon't stay away fly

Py-jamas

The big appeals

the sidewalk cracks me up

its true what they say
you will document your failures
while you suckcesses float into the ether
so congratulations and good luck
and good-bye

you've joined the hall of fame and now there's just no room for you here anymore
so good luck and good-bye

but if you want to use your congratulatory coupon to buy me a milkshake I'd probably be down with that thanks k bye

ties of loyalty

expect the Expectations

& if you can't be yourself you may as well just pretend
like a chameleon but even less than true
the weeping willows and the broken leaves crying
too bad we belong side by side

Wherever...

the bee stings, the big breaks

don't think at all

there are prizes

There are prizes for moments that have passed
Second chances gone by too fast, but took the ribbon for last

They say goodbye's a new word but it's just repackaged
And you couldn't pay me to listen but I'll dangle on the line a while longer

Maybe you thought the new story was new but it's all been told

Not that you mind
But I'm a registered quitter, just following that bouncing ball down to a second hand store
Regurgitating old lines to an audience that never listens
And only applauds when the sign goes on
Well the light's on and nobody's home
Maybe it's the stage name
There are aliases that slip in and out of the night with the quiet abandon of a windmill playing Jenga

Where I'll trade in my name for a new one
Maybe dust this old one off
And point these pointy shoe skyward
It's alright
Line the jar with glass and the feet of clay melt in the salt of the earth
Price tag!

Don't forget we are playing hackysack later, OK? You ain't so big!

My My My and the My My Mys

My love child's inner child needs a babysitter
And I'm sick on the inside but I can always get my stomach pumped
For information

lucky #700

somehow, beards always enter the equation

Yes, this is drawing #700

So, you know, think about that

The thing is you're cursed by details and the pennies saved up don't derail the train of thought but the objection confused all related distractions

I took a bet on a whim
and when push came to shove
I just went out the door

I took hold
and took notice
And just went out the door

I repeated a theme with too many variations
and it just lost meaning
And it went out the window

I forgot what we were talking about
But I'll pick it up where we started
And it went out the mouths
To your ears

I made all the mistakes you wish you did
while the whole world watched
And they patted me on the back
They stepped on all the cracks
Oh, to be someone

Good Questions With Bad Answers, Vol. 2

And the tiny child will eat not one, but three crackers when the time arrives
It's been spoken!

on automatic pilot and i don't mind trying

the climb to the top
nearly knocked me down with a landslide
but if there's one thing i learned
and the sand of 100 beaches crashed down
trying to make waves in an empty platoon
you try to speak but it's always too soon
finding some kind of forgotten pearl in the mouth of your ancestors
trying to change the leaf's journey
or the tree's quest
from sapling to plain old sap
don't give away the ending
we all know it
and everyone else is just always

Why does no one know

I expect I'll need a note but not know what to write

on the way out of coming in

Just make sure you know it's the cobra who's laying in wait at the bottom of the pot you planted

It's time to rattle a few rib cages
Because my baby keeps it electric
Down the last line
I traced on my front lawn
Staring up at the middle light
It used to be the moon
Now it just buzzes on the line
And talks to me and says I can tell the truth now too
The truth is
I don't know,
About a buck 95
So ask for your change back
You'll never get back
No no no never get back
But it's too late
Gotta gotta keep up
Gotta act all interested
When you've inherited a throne that's yours alone
Act real interested
And smile big for the pictures
Just to make it a bit clearer
And the object in the mirror might be your reflection

You want the truth you can have it
Keep it up high on the top shelf with the promises you'll always break
And the object in the mirror might just be your reflection

What’s his full name?

Only three people in this state have my name
And none of them made the top of my list
Or are half the man I'll ever be
I checked twice
And the past passed me by
I didn't get the license or registration
I didn't get the point
I'm breaking in the line of the duty
Just to get a damn break
I swapped my eyes out
Too blurry to speak
Too slurry to see
In the sea
It drifts apart and breaks
The lines are crossed
The lies are lost
And "X" always marks the spot

If you left here three times tomorrow
What would you miss most
The mist or the myth of a mistaken identity
You think you know but it's just a false start
You keep it set apart because it might start again
You thought a lot of things but just wrote them down in a thought balloon
And let it set sail as the acid rained down inside a stormy head
And I've set aside my better half
Hoping to gain interest
In an account I don't own
And it's just registered to a man with my full name
I've never met the man
But where he's buried
"X" always marks the spot

Two to three times in the snow
Once if it pours
To avoid further confusion you can just accept the fact that you're hopelessly hoping that your helping side is helpless
Or just accept the fact that it's always marked by the spot

And what's his full name?
Captain snugglebears and the lovey hold 'ems
Tough crew
He beat my skull in with a razor pick
The same kind I took home to my mother
Before she had me aborted in 912th trimester
The future turns on a dime and I just spent my last quarter
His eyes look like they own the place
And the road map to regret was exactly as advertised
"X" marked the spot and it was so, so unsatisfying

the continents drifted, and i've been thinking of miles down the road and it stretches out as far as you can see

backwards
sidewards
forwards
there'll always be words
just not words to describe this

the the the the AFFECT

the lightning went on strike
and the thunder clapped its hands
and the big man with the tiny hands and the medium dog
just slinked away

Those wizard-grease fires started by Capt. Porno

And it's time to collect because I'm the clown pimp
Clown better have my money