Make the Lukeway commitment to flavor!

Here's what you get you when invest in the Lukeway(TM) commitment to flavor:
1. A really good friend for life.
2. I will personally be that really good friend for life.
3. The ability OR OPTION to have an ice-cream sandwich whenever you see fit.
3.b. Nobody will judge your decision on when to have an ice-cream sandwich. Lukeway respects your ability to be an adult and choose things like the timing of placing brown chocolate-like bread sandwiches into your gaping maw.
4. The alternative to trade in all your spare change for a brand-new sweater fresh from the dryer. When it's no longer warm, you can just throw it away! The options are mind-boggling!
5. Have a real-life koala bear live with you. He won't pay rent, but he sure is cute. Aww.
6. You suddenly will have an opinion on R&B music and all other genres you never even considered as important or of interest. YES THIS INCLUDES REGGAE, YOU SAVVY DINGLEBERRY.
7. Crinkly bacon broken over your eyes while you sleep. Some believe this unlocks your special "waking" powers for when you wake up. Also, in all your dreams, you'll be a millionaire.
8. Singing in the rain will actually make umbrellas appear in both your hands. Why sing in the rain when you can sing indoors, by your radio?
9. An instant high-five whenever you want it. See that previous one about being an adult. Reward yourself when you know you want it. Not when the government fat-cats think you're ready. Laissez-faire on the flip side OR down low! YOU decide.