the president was at an elton john concert when he hears cat stevens is trying to buy some ice cream and then he just gets mad

Dear Unnamed Assailant,

You hijacked my varmint. I did not even have enough time to take down your license plate, nor the registration number of my varmint. He was my favorite coyote, and now he is gone. I was hoping to turn him into a bicycle.

No my name isn't Andre and no I won't shut up.

Signed,
Andrew