suck your thumb under your homeland security blanket when you're outside your comfort zone then give me a call to play some badass hackysack!

Once again, I have been court-ordered to cease activity. Hopefully I can get an injunction in a week and a half (with drawing #600). Bon voyage, and it's back to prison!

my geometric corpse couldn't take the barometric pressure

Rome wasn't built in a day, but you know what was? Minute rice.

That's when my dentist told me: my findings were unremarkable

hey chump phone home

I'm going to continue to stand by my theory that Spider-Man is unnecessary, because if he can only do what a spider can, he's highly redundant.

cocaine-laced texan robot, i hate you

pretty, pretty illiteracy

helen keller and the smoking brakes

buttering land mines for a seaside toast, figure it out

saying words

the british are coming (to my funeral)

granola in my pockets, gingerbread on my knee, got a cinnamon belt

ghosts are always telling me how much it sucks to be dead

the whatchamacallit factor

Can earthquakes be stopped by dropping dead whales down erupting volcanoes by helicopter, allowing their melted fat to lubricate tectonic plates?

herbal tornado

make it fake because there's far too many making it real

my mouth said to your mouth "watch your mouth," my mind thought "i have a mouth?"

you're never alone because you've always got your thoughts and they're not going anywhere or taking you there

keep looking for nothing but what i can find

dear there's no such thing as, where's my free lunch

you can't accident

headhunt what's yours (on seeing if it is awake yet)

what matters more: invisible lives?

you can have it nice or complicated (or complicate it)

just had a get out of my body experience

an incomplete thought

"i just hope that little dragon survived"

welcome to dog turd island [post 550]

save your breath i'm sure you'll get it back later

pass the blame please, roll the dice

life's too short to be this long

crack a smile with those pretty little cracked teeth

new hands that are available