Saturday, November 15, 2008

what is the situation .

When I was a child there were some things I could never wrap my mind around
Now I've gotten older and instead the things never wrap around my mind
Now I just forget what the lesson's supposed to be
There are people who wish you harm
But they're just dust in a new vacuum cleaner in the rear-view mirror
You forget to pretend to matter so it doesn't
And off in the distance a falcon cries
It's watching a lame rom-rom-com that's heavy on the tragicomedy
Heavy on the gravy
In the lampshade at a good party
Thanks for the invitation
Thanks for the imitation
Thanks for the flattery
Thanks for all the nothing

Sunday, October 26, 2008

How do you find a


needle in a haystack?


You burn the stack down.

Saturday, August 23, 2008

skeleton dog keeps barking at me


somehow like a trickle of water everyone has played a trick on me but i just drip along the road as if it were nothing at all and they say no one can see you cry in the rain but i don't know how true that is does that mean no one can see you shake in an earthquake?

Sunday, July 13, 2008

the truth is a broken record


the batteries starting taking acid and made it rain
and rubbed it in my eyes and my face
well i turned the clock off and got out of the zone
i went home
or someplace very much like it

that horse magician is a one-trick phony

Friday, July 11, 2008

reach for the stars and shut the fuck up


the reports of my life were greatly exaggerated
i'd like to tell you what to do but i'd rather take this fresh chance to eat some dirt
with the salt of the earth
everyone's a critic

Saturday, May 17, 2008

another week another weak

Revised Rules: There are a new set of rules for all rounds to follow. Nothing has changed whatsoever from round 1 but since there were so many problems and misunderstandings with the previous rules we decided to shorten them into broader terms.

- These rules are for your physical and legal protection and to ensure that Water Wars remains possible in years to come. Please see them in that light.

Teams and Equipment:

· Players may use: hand-pumped water funs, garden hoses, kitchen hoses, household faucets, water balloons, buckets of water and pools

· Players may not use (including but not limited to): fire hydrants, fire hoses (the kind that fire men use) high-pressure water guns (compressed air or CO2 powered), or anything that is not drinkable.

· Wetting someone also means that you have to do the wetting.

· If someone claims they have wetted you and they want to check then the game can stop on the spot and that person may check you to see if you are wet; if there is any disputing over things call us IMMEDIATELY and we will sort things out. If you do the wetting, it is YOUR responsibility to check the person for wetness, don’t get mad if we don’t rule in your favor because you never checked the person!

Conduct:

  • You are liable for your conduct and any crimes or damages that may be committed by you during Water Wars.
  • Concerning any type of trouble with authority that you get in involving Water Wars, all wetting of players does NOT count until that trouble blows over.
  • Destruction of property is NOT tolerated, ever. If the owner of the property gets pissed off and feels you have ruined their lawn, belongings, etc. then you will be disqualified.(please don’t use this rule freely just so you can easily get someone out)
  • There is absolutely no kidnapping of anyone.
  • If YOUR parents call the cops on someone in Water Wars YOU are kicked out of Water Wars for the remainder of that round because someone could seriously get in trouble. HOWEVER, this only means calling the cops to bail the kids out of Water Wars, if the parent has a legitimate reason to call the cops, you will face the consequences. This includes blocking someone in the driveway when their parent has to go to work or go anywhere else, destroying property or things of that sort.
  • Please try and have the parents stay out of this, it is only a game.

Property:

  • All school properties are off limits for Water Wars activities at all times. OCC, OU, Model, I.A. and Alternative are also off limits. You may not fire on to or off of these properties at ANY time. Church, temple, etc. is also always off limits. Everyone has to go to school, and there could be serious repercussions from messing with the facilities on the weekends.
  • ANY SCHOOL SPONSERED ACTIVITIES ARE OFF LIMITS
  • All government owned properties are off limits for Water Wars activities at all times. This includes but is not limited to: the libraries, the office of the Township by Andover, any police and fire stations, the 48th District Court, JAMS drug testing facilities, etc…
  • Entering residences is illegal and off-limits unless invited by a legal member of the household. Garages and carports are considered part of the residence even if they are not attached. You may shoot out of any garage but you may not fire into it.
  • If blocking out a driveway in the morning (on school days) you must leave your position by 7:15 AM and 7:55 AM on late start days; people should not be late to school!
  • Personal vehicles may only be entered if they have an unlocked door (once again, don’t break in). Convertibles, Jeeps with zip tops and similar things DO NOT count as unlocked doors. If riding by motorcycle you are fair game to be shot.
  • Respect the rights of the property owner. If somebody (i.e. a parent) asks you to get off their property, do so. Talking back and fighting results in player fines and/or disqualifications.
  • If you decide to block a player in the driveway and parent(s) must get out, let them out, then you may return to your position.
  • One must have their ENTIRE body inside to count as being indoors
  • SPORTS: you may not be shot at any schools regarding a team sport whether it is home or away. Not only school sports but also including club sports such as travel soccer, tennis, etc.

Work:

  • You cannot be shot at your work DURING and ONLY DURING WORK HOURS. Since you cannot be shot, you also cannot shoot during this time. But you can shoot if your at work and your opponent comes in.
  • A place of employment includes both the building and property of that place of employment. If employment requires travel off the premises, the employee must show their exempt status by some other means such as a uniform. Babysitting at someone’s house counts as a place of employment as well as businesses.
  • If you are in the parking lot of work, you are fair game, but ONLY leaving work. If you leave during your lunch break, you are also considered fair game. (You can get shot driving to work but not walking from your car to the building in the parking lot.)
  • If going to your car, during work hours to retrieve something, you are still on duty and in a “safe zone” but you must make this known to the opposing team. (If caught lying about this you will be disqualified.)

Matches:

  • Tags can only be made by people on the participating teams.
  • Matches will last from 12:00 AM on that Monday until the following Friday at Midnight. You may “post up” at someone’s house on that Monday morning but, once again, you must be off their premises by 7:15 AM. The time between rounds is used for pairing teams and relaxation (use it wisely)
  • Teams may no block off driveways (on school nights) after midnight. You may “post up” at someone’s house but you cannot block off the driveway after midnight due to safety reasons.
  • The organizer must be notified of all tags by phone (no text messages please!) for all purposes the time the organizer is notified shall be counted as the time of the tag.
  • For someone to be “tagged” they must have a thoroughly wet patch on their clothing or body. Please soak as best possible. Two drops of water will NOT be enough so make sure to soak well!
  • When someone is tagged, it is the obligation of their tagger to notify the organize. The organizer must be given the name of the persons both tagging and tagged, the date/time and the place. The organizer will then confirm said details with the tagged person.
  • If tagging is disputed, first attempt to resolve it between the teams. If an agreement cannot be reached the teams must approach the organizer to judge. Concrete evidence (ex: a picture right on a camera/camera phone) will be looked upon favorably.
  • If I and many other people feel that your Water Wars tactics are TOTALLY out of line, I reserve the right to say “Screw you Tyrone, your not longer in this game.”
  • In the event of a tie, tiebreakers will be held on that following Saturday (the end of the round) at least two members must attend from each team. If two can’t make it to the meeting, the opposing team will advance to the next round.
  • Tiebreakers: This can be anything as long as both teams agree and it is Okayed by either Carlo or Courtney. One of us must be there at the time of the showdown as do at least two of each team’s members.

EVERYONE MUST UNDERSTAND THERE IS ABSOLUTLY NO “PAUSING” THE GAME WHENEVER YOU PLEASE.

The only time the game may be paused is when you stop to check if someone is wet and this must be known to both teams.


Reward:

  • This year we have 28 teams, $80 per team.
  • First place winners will receive $1,120
  • Second place winners will receive $560

Courtney- 840-9483

Carlo- 821-8198

Website: carlolorenzetti.com/waterwars

Whatever decisions you make to take part in Water Was, YOU must live with the consequences;

Other than that, BE SAFE & HAVE FUN

Sunday, May 04, 2008

so i will do the work and show my problems

but so long as we're clear there are no problems
nothing that can be solved
without a firm handshake and a healthy shiny coat
and a ha ha ha
all up and down the dirty dusty trails
it never ever fails
so keep pace or lag behind

Thursday, May 01, 2008

pimp my UFO

won't you help me chase my food?

Saturday, April 26, 2008

and they passed us along the backs of their palms as we stared up at the ocean


your enemies will be taking separate cars

lunch in an inappropriate cafe

lunch in an inappropriate cafe:
lunch can have an order when you taste the stew
you've just got to let me know
when they go too far
i swear someone in here got up in the middle of the night and stuffed the toilet full of hamburgers
they smeared the walls with petroleum jelly and lit it on fire
the grease from a toasted cheese sandwich lines the awnings in my eyes
they flicked off the lights and cut the line
now we can't hear anything
but the sound of our own breathing
in an inappropriate cafe
no one could have asked for this
and no one could have deserved this
they stuck the knife in and stuck me with the bill
up with a twist of lemon
that i never want
but they give me all the same
"our specials today include an impossible quesadilla stuffed with a chinchilla meat and a fine wine perfect for napping"
later i awoke and found my wallet was doing a dirty dance with the salsa platter
"i'm never eating here again but first i have to find a way out"
too bad that bear lured me in, flicked the switch and poured meat tenderizer and spaghetti sauce on my own precious alabaster ankles
later i awoke and my legs were stuck in a bear trap and they stuck me with the bill
"i'm never eating here again but maybe i'll have some dessert"
the waitress says it's her favorite and i'm supposed to care apparently
obviously this place used to be a burger king or a wendy's or a hair salon
in either case the chocolate sundae has seen better days and so has my appeal
and they said
and they said
"you've got 18 minutes to live and we've got 36 bad jokes to cram down your intelligence so keep it down"
this is a smoking section and i've lost my zoning
i've lost my appeal and i've lost my appetite
i'm afraid i'm going to need a doggie bag and he will be mad when i get home
if i get home
i am home

path forgot the question and kept on bubbling


how is it fair that you know my name but i don't know yours?
got a caller
got a collar
in the cellar
#1 bestseller
in an avalanche of opinion
and a spring in a fallen step
the fallen arches standing up for themselves
like the romans say
"if you push me i'll fall"


p.s. i swear i didn't get up in the middle of the night and stuff the toilet full with hamburgers.

Saturday, April 19, 2008

this revolving door flu has made my pinpoint shadow sick


whether it's a canary in the mine or a stitch in time it doesn't make much difference
wwwhat's it add up to?

Saturday, April 12, 2008

Monday, April 07, 2008

don't point fingers like you're julius advisor


i swallow heart clots
and fake my way through the ink blot test
if you want things to last
you better act fast
this is the start of the page where it hits the center

Thursday, March 27, 2008

$$ to donut$$


thanks for the recognition

i feel alive now
alive enough to feel myself breathing
the carpet's wheezing
i inherited a thousand suckers
and am starting a new lollipops for dollars program
what's the rate of exchange, suckas?
AND CAN YOU PLEASE DEFINE KAFKAESQUE?

Tuesday, March 25, 2008

explosion insurance


where i co me from is getting loose and leady for the heavy

Sunday, March 09, 2008

Saturday, March 08, 2008

Saturday, March 01, 2008

countdown to the end


Cutting through a potato chain-link fence
You think you know about someone just 'cuz you read their diary
Well quite contrary
Laughing Mary
A goddamned statue out of orbit
And a can of orange juice
Drowning the tuna in the ocean
But it's too late to react
B'e'c'a'u's'e'
You forgot to schedule accordingly

You made a deal with yourself so it's time to cash in

So sopping through the trough and cutting up the chicken fat
You've gone too far just because you read the maps
But you were naked to the gills
And already wasting away
Cooking up a chicken fat sardine dinner
Off the VCR
And you can rewind and watch all your favorite moments
But somewhere in an alley lays a dying little kitty cat
You ever heard of an alley?
The bees told me all about the birds
Bright one early summer morning
Unable to contain what it called emotion
Thoroughly confusing and satisfyingly frustrated

Friday, February 22, 2008

My interests include hobbies and collections


I know the reasons why they talk to me
occupying time
always seems like a great idea to me

Monday, February 18, 2008

Sunday, February 10, 2008

except when we wait

opportunistic accidents that's all

Saturday, February 09, 2008

something new to say

BEEP BEP I AM HAT ROBOT

a summer invitational to all who think they can take my place

But before I get ahead of myself I have to find the bottom of my feet. They're usually down there, and this is no exception. Still, help me look. These things don't find themselves, and it's for that very reason that I must do that dance. If werewolves taught me manners, surely you'd think they'd teach me how to make my bed. But no, they were never around in the morning. You know, since some people are raised by wolves. Well, these are werewolves. My momma dug a hole in the snow and when I awoke, Crispy the tall werewolf told me to consider him my best friend or he'd chew my demons away. Well, I don't care much for my demons. They don't invite me out to dinner afterwards, plus they sure as heck don't leave a tip.




Brother, I am alive. Are you?

Tuesday, February 05, 2008

If there’s smooth and chunky peanut butter, why isn’t there chunky jazz?


Right. & What do you do with your free time?

Anyone speak horse code?


Well, well, well:
http://www.medpagetoday.com/Columns/8138
Looks like my old boy Dracula's in the news again. Is it a complete coincidence that when there's nothing interesting going on in the world, Dracula pops up in our national headlines? Or maybe, and more correctly, D-man lets the world's events grow more and more boring, then he chooses to leap into the spotlight, and dance to our national content. That's what I'd like to believe. Especially since he won't ever return my phone calls.

I just assume he's out baking cookies or doing other things that make my heart sing. But here's betting that Cafe Dracula didn't have no Dracula patties when l'il Drac was a scant four years old!

Friday, January 25, 2008

& they built a cathedral just for me


and nobody came to seesaw
see saw seesaw seesaw

Sunday, January 20, 2008

jealous tummy ache in the shoe heel horned at a mistake

turnstile/turn style said it's easier to swallow broken glass than to eat for a living
and
you can't go turning diamonds into something valuable in this town
it'll churn out another factory
for the adoring faces
but
you can go around selling you wares to the clouds in the sky
and breathe in the night sky as technicolor cars sweep along a fantasy of something forgotten
what was it
you've forgotten
the fact that all you can see is scratching of a neck
is a shock to the system
an embrace to the distance
dancing taciturn/toss a turn around the many rings
under your eyes
or in a tree trunk
so concerned to concern yourself
while it is most certainly that
to share and share alike
but don't dare
take the edge off
edge off
the quiet kept is to prevent being thought of as dumb
or lack of anything of interest
to appreciate
welcome to the welcome sign
so come in
dust it off but I'm still on a shelf
taking the map's relief and crushing it flat
on a spiral escalator
to no where
mixing signals and metaphors and drinks
at least, that's what I think I'm doing
ok to be done now

Saturday, January 19, 2008

Wednesday, January 16, 2008

Sunday, January 13, 2008

all by itself


If there's strength in numbers
There's weakness in letters
But something always shoots me back out
At square number one

Saturday, January 12, 2008

stones for two purposes


Here I am folding the folds of my skin
When it occurred to me
My actions don't reflect the water
I'm currently
Sinking in

Last night I dreamt I was interviewing Hunter S. Thompso, but he hung up on me in disgust because I was being tickled nonstop

Monday, January 07, 2008

Saturday, January 05, 2008

temporarily tattooed : "i'm sorry forever"

I know why the caged bird locks me out


cowboys with pizza cutters on the back of their boots walking with their noses in the air

Thursday, January 03, 2008

double deadbeat deadpan daddy

and my turn was next next next
it's no wonder

Tuesday, January 01, 2008