lunch in an inappropriate cafe

lunch in an inappropriate cafe:
lunch can have an order when you taste the stew
you've just got to let me know
when they go too far
i swear someone in here got up in the middle of the night and stuffed the toilet full of hamburgers
they smeared the walls with petroleum jelly and lit it on fire
the grease from a toasted cheese sandwich lines the awnings in my eyes
they flicked off the lights and cut the line
now we can't hear anything
but the sound of our own breathing
in an inappropriate cafe
no one could have asked for this
and no one could have deserved this
they stuck the knife in and stuck me with the bill
up with a twist of lemon
that i never want
but they give me all the same
"our specials today include an impossible quesadilla stuffed with a chinchilla meat and a fine wine perfect for napping"
later i awoke and found my wallet was doing a dirty dance with the salsa platter
"i'm never eating here again but first i have to find a way out"
too bad that bear lured me in, flicked the switch and poured meat tenderizer and spaghetti sauce on my own precious alabaster ankles
later i awoke and my legs were stuck in a bear trap and they stuck me with the bill
"i'm never eating here again but maybe i'll have some dessert"
the waitress says it's her favorite and i'm supposed to care apparently
obviously this place used to be a burger king or a wendy's or a hair salon
in either case the chocolate sundae has seen better days and so has my appeal
and they said
and they said
"you've got 18 minutes to live and we've got 36 bad jokes to cram down your intelligence so keep it down"
this is a smoking section and i've lost my zoning
i've lost my appeal and i've lost my appetite
i'm afraid i'm going to need a doggie bag and he will be mad when i get home
if i get home
i am home