i don't think enough animals know that i'm probably smarter than them

i don't think enough animals know that i'm probably smarter than them.
when i was a child, and i'd go to the zoo, i would win silent auctions against them.
also i would fill out mad libs with funny words like flying chairs.
animals are too stupid to even answer a riddle.
the parrot is nature's most revolting jester.
they can string together words and make sentences, but they have no measurable IQ whatsoever.
i wouldn't feel sorry if a parrot who lived in my neighborhood fried to death on an open gas range flame.
the notion that we evolved from animals is also poppy cock.
i haven't met a single sane human who goes around throwing their feces.
what sort of problem is that going to solve?
animals have no problem solving skills.
all they do is poop and eat.
who are they fooling?
who are they impressing?
who are the masters?
we are enslaved to these animals.
who's the real master?
we go to work and earn money to buy pets food.
they stay home and nap all day.
and then jump all over you when you get home, need to go outside to engage in their filthy habits.
or we let them squat in our houses in disgusting little plastic boxes, and we have to indulge them in their medieval bed pans.
cats take drugs.
you have to give them laxatives the hard way.
who are we fooling.
and they'll never know that i'm smarter than them.