Fridge Worthy

Thursday, May 17, 2007

figuring something went wrong, plugged in holes in the meaningless equation and came up empty on a shore walking along the water

You ripped off my money
Soul's in limbo
My arms akimbo
Now we're so polite it could kill a flower in bloom
Nobody speak too soon
You'll ruin it all
I got a feeling I could speak 'til I get blue in the cheeks
And still it'd be plenty of weeks
Time
And Time again
It's always time
Not enough time
The sands in an hour glass all became pearls
In the oyster's mouth, it was its own world
Now I'm taking a wish
And blowing its mind out
Out at sea
Out in its Sunday best
I got to believe what I see on the TV screen
Because I don't got no choice
I believe everything you say to me
(I already said it)
Even the lies
Because it's too beautiful to think
With my cracked mind
And my twisted logic
Is it toxic or nontoxic
A man's gotta eat
Keep away from the fire
And blowing its mind out
Out of what it always needed
Out at sea
So polite it could kill a flower in bloom
Still it would not unfold
For anyone but me
For everyone but me
I'm always losing things
Out in the worst way
Out because you lost your keys
So now it's 5, 6, 7, 8 hours until the next train will come
Do you hear the traffic dying?
Lull it to sleep
The moon sighed me to sleep too
And I was wide awake in a daydream
Oh yeah
Someday
But not today
Someday soon
This will all come back to you
ruin it all
Time
And Time again
So set your alarm and kill another day
In limbo

Don't piss in my stream of consciousness
Don't let them judge you
You never gave a fuck what they thought
I thought
So pull the dagger out
Take a pat on the back again
What's the difference
Add it up
Nothing's something, right?

It's too beautiful to think today
Or I think there's something wrong with my thinking
Oh yeah
Someday
But not today
Someday soon
You'll be my gift
And I'll never take it back
But
It's too beautiful to think today
Or I think there's something wrong with my thinking
Oh yeah
Someday
But not today
Someday soon

It's disinfected by trash

At the Copa
Copa Cabana
You can do things that you don't wanna
And you're gonna
Meet Kevin Costner
And remake all his movies
At the Copa
Copa Cabana
You can do things that you don't wanna
And you're gonna
Meet Tina Turner
And arm wrestle a blanket

Excerpts from The Godfather Anime: Don Vito's Revenge

Scene 15

[SON VITO is in his apartment’s bathroom, making spaghetti in the toilet while THUGS wait in his kitchen, converted to look like an Italian bistro]

SON VITO

Madonn', this oughta hold ‘em. Lousy mortadellas... lucky for me the Don put this gun in my toilet tank and also my water filtration has gone to kaputs. I can strain the water in my commode and come out, guns a-blazin’. Now, time to make-a my plate of super meatballs, the way the Don likes, straight ouf the turlet! Ha-ha-ha.

[SON VITO laughs and serves dinner. Later, the THUGS are killed, apparently from food poisoning]

Scene 37

[DON VITO is not pleased with underling Herman Napole’s lack of respect. Suspected of flipping for the feds, DON VITO confronts him in his terrarium.]

DON VITO

I ask of you this one favor. I invite you to my house, you play with my kitty cat Fluffers, and I ask of you to loan me your Frank Zappa box set. Instead, you come here and show a lack of respect to me in my terrarium. Come and fix me a plate super meatballs with a very nice a-gravy, you rat.

Wednesday, May 16, 2007

now all i need is cruelty as a cue

Raise a glass with the expectations
Incite a riot because it's good for a laugh
And between parked cars
Be idle for a while
Stop
And go

For miles and miles
The yellow line caused a fever
For buying time

Monday, May 14, 2007

cut up the credit cards and shanghai the kids, bringing what's brought.

I'll go my way
And you go yours
And keep on treatment like it was a daily chore
I've got my daily vitamins
I've got my joints limber
I've got my crucial opportunities
and I've got my way-way-wasted youth
So tell your momma and your sister
I figured the truth would come out by now
But now
It's much too late
We keep it up to keep the distance
And sit next to it
Keep it company
I suppose if I knew
If I ever made a mistake
If I ever had a problem
But I haven't and I don't
I'd talk to you but it's like ringing up a ghost
In a one horse town
Everyone knows your tricks
And my number's up
If I lost all my limbs
Would you help put me back together?
If I wrote to you
Would you read the letter?
Picking up the peace
Now there's no reason not to
I always thought the truth was true
Now
It's just
That
I'll go my way
And you'll go yours
Someone help me get off the kitchen floor
Saving face in the cabinets
Whatever it was
It just hasn't happened yet
In a dream in some faraway land
Turning circles
Turning squares
There's more to it than geography
The memories we have
They're lost and collected in a jar found on a distant shore
They just don't matter anymore
You can try and take a picture
But it won't last
They lie when they say it'll last longer, of course
So I'll go my way
And you go yours
That's what I like to hear
Collision course much too coarse to come near
My front door
My front teeth
Collide
And dumpster dive
Turning tricks in a back alley
Deep and dank, making a salary you can bank
Too much talk of money
And too complacent to change places
But I'd trade places in a second
For a gold medal, a pair of pearls
Getting hitched to that great big 'ol diamond in the sky
Once in a while I thought about it
Called me what I was
Accused of saving face
Heard it
Straight from the source
So I'll go my way
And you go yours

Thursday, May 10, 2007

I must go now, I sense Suzanne Summers needs me urgently.

And my Grandma Swirl would constantly shout, "Shut up, Santa Claus!"

Seriously, though, I'm going away again for a while. I liked prison so much, I'm going to jail. It's kinda different though, I hear. See ya on the other side!

Here's a list of shit you can do:

1. Read Post Secret on Sunday, but call your mama too.
2. Call me up, but I'm in jail and already used up my call.
3. Go outside for once. Jeez.
4. Check out the art of Wesley Willis
5. Get 50 free music downloads on eMusic
6. Get off my fuckin' back for once. Quit ridin' a jailbirds coattails.
7. Read up on Romanian tourism
8. Read up on birdwatching in Iraq
9. Read some other goddamned cartoons
10. Turn text into noise
11. Play the lottery, but play to lose.

That's literally dozens of activities. So don't come cryin' to me.

lazy memories

my soulmate ate for life
and i went home free
still i couldn't figure out what anything ever meant
to me
we interpret the road signs even when they're blurred
it's a hell of a ride
of that i'm sure
still i don't know where i'm going
check the dashboard compass
see how we're feeling now
how are we feeling now
am i coming in clear
not sure where we're going
but i'm clear on where we've been
and it sounds quite right
but not the way i said
nothing should be burned forever
those bridges crossed
not over a river
my eyes
blind
time
uh
something
so pick something new
something
anything
it doesn't really matter
stick your toe in the water
it's frozen shut
and still i went home free
laughing all the way
when
i don't know what was so funny
in the first place
for the last time
nothing on me

but

dirt and skin
who marked the map
with the tick tock roads
who made it so hard
to flip flop fold

still i don't know where i'm going
in the first place

so we listen to the lies and reject all truth
it's funny
at least do the respectable thing and do the easy thing
and we all take turns at once
luckily, it's easy

figure it out later

tell me something, i don't know
straight lines bore you so
pick out a new course of action
from the catalog
pay the fee
and you're suddenly free
post it in the mail box letter
say something you'd better regret
it's just something you need to let
happen on it's own

so much now

and i went home free

academia nuts

My house is an organ
My brain is a stem cell
My body parts are a door bell
My nerves are a portable toilet
My toe nails are a rigged election system
My elbows are not democracy
My tonsils are long gone
They never even left a note
My heartbreak is suffering
My eye teeth are being melodramatic
Someone left the oven on in Santa Eulalia del Rio
I think I hear my keys jingling
Someone keeps undressing me with their telekinesis
With their eyes
Their eyes aren't a tree ring
Count the years gone by
My life is a gangster
A total eclipse of the milkman
Driving down the street is a waste of time
I'm walking down the road
Down to Heaven
If heat rises I'll see you in Hell
It'll be cooler and the weather will be colder
My trapper keeper is non-existent
My PEMDAS is FIFO, LUDO
You can't kill the dead
They don't care and are too stinky to shower
The heat stink rises right off it
Untie my eyes and strip my ears behind my back
I'm chasing that ball over a deserted road
I do as I'm told
Did someone dress the baby
Or was he born that sharp
Whoops
Slush slush slush slush
Slip
Broke broke broke
You're too hip
For me
My identity is a constellation
My sense of taste is an illusion
My mirage is a desert
My sense of direction is lost
My feet point inwards
My back is always broken
My toes are always pregnant
Someone left the heart on in Guadalampur
Can you get it back for me
Or did I just make it up
Because
My sense of geography is American
My sticktoitiveness is American't
My best face forward is ridiculous
My skeleton key is a shape shifter
And my baby face is a face lifter
Someone filled the baby's mouth with hair
I shaved his mouth but
It was too late
It was
Too too late
He's more handsome than I ever thought I could be
Because
My sense of irony was lost in the mail
My anger got ground up in the disposal
My possibilities are dwindling
My compass is a son of a bitch
And my kindred spirit is lying
That scorpion came 'round the bend and said
"I can stand up when my number is called,"
Well, your number's up and so's my mind
It's made up
As in fictional, not determined
So I rode the rail through the spike in that creature's heart
It writhed all night long,
Listening to AC/DC
Meaning both ways, twixt the advantage
Ultimately the prize sat at the bottom of the box
Untouched, unclaimed, undusted
Prints
Prince in a monarchy
Because my monarchy is lost
My oligarchy is meaningless
I know tons of words but don't know what to say
Because my sense of timing is impeccable
But always always always
...Late

And the remains of the day were buried at sea
And I pretended to care but I couldn't tell anymore
So I put on my best tux and my best face forward
And went out the back door
And walked on and on the dusty country road
So rocks could get wedged in the new soles
And when I got there
And when I finally said my piece
So we could all just get on with it
I was just...

Late

64 floors up, eating garbage in my new role as dogsbody

"It'll all be worth it someday," said the poor man who was rich in spirit but had an empty mind. He ditched his belongings by the side of the road and hoped they'd fit in there because, well, they had no place with him anymore.

Tuesday, May 08, 2007

Maybe 1 day when our ship has sailed and we all go our own separate ways, we'll all make our way back here from both ends of the ocean, but I doubt it

Whatever happened to the way we used to be
Did it keep on going without us
Did we ever catch that bus
Did we ever hollow out that hill and make our top secret hideout
Did I just give myself away
Stop before I start talking too slow
Oh shit
I just gave myself away
In the heat of the moment I was left out in the cold
I was getting left behind when you were doing as you're told
Be a good boy
Drive a nice car
I burnt my tongue on that shooting star
The sky tucked me into bed at night
And I threw away the key
And these bodies are surrounding me
Somebodies
Nobodies
Thosebodies
They don't come home at night, they come out at night
Only
It's okay
It's alright
If you were meant to understand then you wouldn't be reading this
Now
This time out
Now
Down the street, I grit my teeth.
And can't remember why.
Up the road, I wanna change your mind.
But it's already pretty made up
and can't remember why.

100 Apologies (One hundred things to be sorry for)

Sorry to that cop for shooting him, then driving him in my car to my home to cut his face off, presumably so he cannot be identified later
Sorry for not using the metric system
Sorry for not calling you back
Sorry for all the apologies
Sorry for my ugly face
Sorrier for your uglier face
Sorry for not raking the leaves and instead staying inside all day, eating corn chips. Okay, not corn chips but the disgusting chip dust that accumulates near the bottom of the bag. Okay, not near the bottom of the bag, but in the actual bottom of the bag.
Sorry for being late
Sorry for being late to my own arraignment, your Honor
Sorry for stringing together long lists and pointless sentences that go no where
Sorry for my offensive birthmark
Sorry for my overly polite birthmark
Sorry for growing up in a non-Sega Genesis household
Sorry for single-handedly depreciating the value of whatever the currency is in Denmark
Sorry for not knowing offhand the currency of Denmark
Sorry for shaving my mother's only successful moustache
Sorry that her moustache was far better than any one I could ever grow
Sorry for copping that 'tude
Sorry for my waxy skeleton not shining enough to light your way home
Sorry for gumming up the works, in general
Sorry for airing my laundry publicly
Sorry for not getting that country's democracy going
Sorry for not being able to __________
Sorry for my allergies
Sorry for my $2 haircut
Sorry for being like a moth to the flame, and all that that might entail
Sorry for slicking up the oceans
Sorry for ruining those moments that one time
Sorry for not keeping the roads safe
Sorry for nickel and diming my own time, every time
Sorry for not looking my best, even when I do
Sorry for the mess
Sorry for the stream of consciousness ruining your living room
Sorry for urinating in your sink while you were sleeping
Sorry for airing my grievances
Sorry for that list of dumb things I gotta do being so dumb
Sorry for wrinkling the skyline
Sorry for really moving
Sorry for talking when I really meant to speak
Sorry for running my mouth
Sorry for shutting everyone up
Sorry for the baby screams
Sorry for filling the baby's mouth with hair
Sorry for being so bored
Sorry for finishing what I start

Saturday, April 28, 2007

suck your thumb under your homeland security blanket when you're outside your comfort zone then give me a call to play some badass hackysack!

Once again, I have been court-ordered to cease activity. Hopefully I can get an injunction in a week and a half (with drawing #600). Bon voyage, and it's back to prison!