I must go now, I sense Suzanne Summers needs me urgently.

And my Grandma Swirl would constantly shout, "Shut up, Santa Claus!"

Seriously, though, I'm going away again for a while. I liked prison so much, I'm going to jail. It's kinda different though, I hear. See ya on the other side!

Here's a list of shit you can do:


1. Read Post Secret on Sunday, but call your mama too.
2. Call me up, but I'm in jail and already used up my call.
3. Go outside for once. Jeez.
4. Check out the art of Wesley Willis
5. Get 50 free music downloads on eMusic
6. Get off my fuckin' back for once. Quit ridin' a jailbirds coattails.
7. Read up on Romanian tourism
8. Read up on birdwatching in Iraq
9. Read some other goddamned cartoons
10. Turn text into noise
11. Play the lottery, but play to lose.

That's literally dozens of activities. So don't come cryin' to me.